Dear Nepal,
Why can’t I decide how I feel about you? I’m just so conflicted.
On the one hand, there is so much about you that I love. You have so much to offer: you have such an amazing history, your mountains are beautiful, your people are sweet, your language is interesting, the shopping you provide is absolutely incredible and dangerous, your food is quite delicious, most of the time, travel and pretty much everything else is quite cheap.
But why must you be so filthy, under developed? Why must your people continuously try to take advantage of me because of the colour of my skin and the sound of my voice? Why must your dogs be so scary and your roosters wake me up so early in the morning? Why must I fear for my safety every time I go for a walk?
I’m so happy to be getting to know you so intimately. I have been attracted to you for many, many years now. Did I hype it up too much?
I like you a lot, Nepal, I’m just not in love with you.
I know it’s unfair for me to compare you to past loves – like Mauritius, Costa Rica – but I’m humanly imperfect. Of course I compare. I loved them, I remember them, cherish the memories with them and think of them often. They made me feel immediately comfortable, happy and adventurous. Why is it that I don’t feel this way with you? I have been so infatuated with you for so long, now that I have the opportunity to turn that infatuation into love, it just doesn’t seem to be happening.
I don’t know if it’s you or if it’s me, but I will try hard to experience the feelings I was expecting to feel when I came over to spend time getting to know you. I hope that you, too, will do your part to help me fall in love with you.
Sincerely,
Ayesha
Maybe you feel pressure to fall in love with Nepal because you’ve admired it from afar for so long… Sometimes you can admire from a distance but, when something’s up close and personal, it just isn’t what you expected. You can’t make yourself fall in love.
As you said, there are so many things you like and love about the country, and it’s good the list is so long. Maybe Nepal won’t be a true love of yours, but it will nevertheless give you memories to cherish and moments of fondness,
Take your time and appreciate what you can. Maybe you’ll start to feel more, maybe you won’t. But in the case of the latter, you will still build many memories and be living your life the way it should be x
Hope ur feeling will change with more travelling in Nepal. It will b sad if it doesn’t.